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September 14, 2005

Comments

Whitney Howell

Organization is the key here. The second paragraph, I don’t know if your talking about the women’s roles or the “creating power” in each story. You mention the frequent use of animals, but really expand on that point. In the third paragraph, you start talking about Christianity out of the blue. Basically, just state one point you are going to make then do the evidence for that one point and so on. Another thing is that a reference to the textbook is something that’s required so it is good to have that one. Also it might help the reader if you would briefly summarize the stories you read. You had a very strong beginning; I really liked your first sentence. Couple that with examples from the text and a little more organization and you’ve got it.

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